Issue #43: Tomorrow I turn 35, here's what I wish I'd known before

Reflecting on the past year, what I'd go back and tell myself and what I'm looking forward to.

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Tomorrow I turn 35. I’m officially closer to 40 than I am 20 and somehow still don’t feel like a real adult. It’s a weird space to be in because my knees hurt but I still don’t mind taking a few shots at the bar. They say your thirties is when you really start to have fun and so far I can say that is absolutely true.

I’ve always been pretty timid around my birthday. I celebrate so many birthdays during the first half of the year that I am completely wiped out by the time the end of August rolls around. At least that’s what I tell people. It’s mostly because every year around my birthday I’m reminded about the things that I have yet to accomplish. Every year I look back on all of the things that I said I would do and realize that another year has passed and I’m still not where I thought I’d be.

For so many years those thoughts haunted me. And the older I got, the more I honestly felt like maybe I’m not meant to be successful in the way that I strived to be. I mean, I have an amazing family and an amazing home, maybe, just maybe, that’s as good as it would get. And trust me if it all ended today, I would go fully satisfied with everything that I have been blessed with.

But this past year has felt different. On my 34th birthday, I decided that I wasn’t going to try and achieve anything. For the past year, I haven’t had any real goals and promised myself that I would be open to whatever God had for me. And it has been the most freeing year of my life.

I have had the honor to flow and move through this year with more clarity than I’ve ever had. At times, it hasn’t been easy. I’m still someone who manages anxiety and depression but it has been easier to bounce back from those low moments. And going into this new year with no real expectations has allowed God to fully reveal what He has next for me. (Hint: It’s Mind Body Brand)

Looking back now, if I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to simply “let go and just be.” Ya’ll know I’ve never been afraid of pivoting career-wise but what I’ve never really shared is the emotions that have come along with it. The shame I’ve felt from not being on the same level as those who started after me, the worry that comes along with wondering what my audience will think because I’ve moved on to yet another thing, or the fear of turning another year older and still not being where I thought I’d be.

I wish I could go back and tell 18-year-old me to relax and know that everything will eventually work out exactly as it should. I wish I could tell 27-year-old me that what she was chasing after wasn’t actually what she was meant to do and that there was nothing wrong with her. And I wish I could tell 30-year-old me that I was bigger than the anxiety and depression that I was feeling.

As I step into my 35th year of life, I can honestly say that I’m excited about this new year. As I sit here in my beautiful hotel room in Colorado, I have butterflies just thinking about all the good that will come to me this year. My mission is to continue to write here and share with you the importance of rest. Personally, I want to be more intentional at home with my husband and daughter. Outside of that, I am still open to whatever God has for me. If that leads me to another pivot, taking on a new job or some other big change, I will try my best to embrace it with grace.

As always, thank you so much for being here. I know it’s my birthday but if you’re reading this, tomorrow I want you to do something special for yourself. Whatever makes you feel like the best version of YOU.

Cheers to an incredible week!

– Alisha

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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

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GOOD FINDS

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🧘🏽‍♀️ Affirmations are a great way to help you challenge or overcome negative thoughts about any aspect of your life. So the next time work or money stresses you TF out, pull out these 50 affirmations.

🗣 I have to admit, I sort of love gossip. Like the type of gossip that comes with great storytelling. if you’re like me and believe that “good gossip” is how you bring people together, you will love the Normal Gossip podcast!

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BEFORE YOU GO, DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE